Terminate a service: receive racial slurs

Thank God this is OVER. Some people aren’t worth writing about :-). I do however believe in treating people like they treat others and hopefuly there’s a lesson in there. And, no honey I am not a social climber, I am very much an introvert.

I must say this is by far the worst person I have ever met and regrettably befriended, however her decision to call me the ‘n’ word in email form was her mistake. In 2008, I hope that people can be more accepting of people based on their color since color is something that we do not control, just like we do not choose our parents and class. Read on…

[This entry has been edited upon agreement. As it was intended to be a Post about the use of Racial Slurs, no one’s name or photos are here. However, if my name is ever mentioned by the person online ever, it will be reposted. Even if the images and names have been removed, just like the articles she wrote about me, mine will appear in cache from google for the duration of internet history. In fact, even if you delete things off the internet, they still appear. Ugh stupid people I swear! Oh well, “don’t fuck with nerds.” I’d share how to clear some stuff off google but at this point, I don’t give a damn.]

Today’s topic is about racism, it’s a very touchy topic because I like to live in my bubble sometimes and pretend it doesn’t exist. I don’t do this because I am naive… I do it because I feel pity for the people who are racist. It’s sad to believe that after hundreds of years of oppression and attempts to make things right, people are still very much ignorant to the fact that people do not choose their skin color or social statuses at birth. Racism is where “members of one race consider themselves intrinsically superior to members of other races.” There are groups of whites and groups of blacks that do believe that their race is superior. I am sure these groups also extend into other races, however I am only aware of those among blacks and whites. However, this post isn’t about racism in general – it’s about a client that I had who decided to call me the ‘n’ word.

I took some time to think about this before I posted it. It was triggered by the supposed client, A racist client , who I had to terminate services with because she was affecting other clients. I respectfully dismissed the project. The reason why I terminated it was because my services may not be right for her which to me, at that time, seemed to be the best idea for both of us. She couldn’t afford it, point blank (not that I am not willing to work with clients who can’t pay but I can’t deal with high demands from clients who can’t pay). I tried my best to alter her project to stay within budgets and she failed to meet the deadline which was the end of February.

Anyways, she was a cool hairdresser who we met late last year just before I went on my California trip. I must say I didn’t even get to know her very well, even if our friendship lasted less than 3 months. She asked me to help her create a site and placed $100 down, she also offered to pay for lunch one day even if we were going to pay for it ourselves. My creativity fee isn’t that little at all, I hadn’t even drawn up a contract with her as yet but she wanted me to keep it since she wanted to show that she was serious about it. Immediately, I decided to treat her as a client – I hardly knew her for a month at that time, we hung out at least 3 times.

Anyway, taking her project in mind one day, I did some sketches to keep her under a small budget because I didn’t want it to conflict with my other clients. It was a simple site that would display her hair business and gallery for her online presence. I thought that it was a cute site and consulted with other designers to make sure it was perfect, she also agreed.

She came over to my apartment twice to develop the site and I spent a couple hours each time to make sure we were on the same page. When she decided to change the entire design, colors, layout(grid), everything – I decided to draw up a contract projecting the cost and changes in order to protect myself (I did not want to work on a simple site for months for a very small budget as I said before, this is NYC – everything is expensive here). She took a look at the contract and asked to think about it. I allowed her a day, then she responded with an exact budget and how I could help her stay within that. I told her she definitely couldn’t go with the one she conjured up because it would take me months to complete. Plus, she wanted me to do photo editing which is priced differently and would go past her budget (ouch). So, I did send her to the template monster site and offered to set it up for 1/4 the price of her budget. Still working with the end of February deadline… she took 12 days to get back to me and tells me she doesn’t have Photoshop to set it up herself so she needs my help (of course she wants this for free), not only that, she wants photos that she didn’t want to pay for lifted off a Wedding site to use from a photographer whom she hadn’t paid for those photos (I’m sure he’d be happy about that).

Anyway, today she sent me an email calling me the ‘n’ word, well there was also Low Class, etc… I avoided the “skank” comment. With the world on the internet and the media blasting people who are racist (such as that guy from Seinfeld and Mel Gibson), I don’t know why people still do this… These are some excerpts:

You have no choice but to stick to being Low Class

I am LMAO right now Low class is a loose term for what you are. Seriously I am into Black girls and I was all about your cute WHITE boyfriend. but truth is I DONT do business with NI**gers anymore and this is EXACTLY WHY>> Why did I think you would be any different…

And it was my pleasure to host you guys for Dim Sum. Only a typical ni**ger would suggest that I was counting the dollars of that afternoon. It was a good faith gesture that I wanted to spend time with you both professinally and personally. At that time….

“…FYI it takes more than a fancy contract, over priced rates and a white boyfriend to deliver you from your socio-econimically disadavtanged destiny. Ciao Jerlyn

Actually I wish she had spelled economically correctly. However, I don’t see where having a white boyfriend cause black women to get out of a disadvantaged destiny. I do ok with or without my boyfriend. Although we live in NYC, we budget ourselves and know exactly how much to save in order for each of us to survive if one of us gets through difficult times. We make our own money and we have never asked each other for money. We are also a very progressive couple because when we first started dating, he did discuss the possibilities of encountering such a situation according to where we went. Being from an island where people do not seem to care as much, I brushed this off. However, he was right.

I really thought that people, especially in a diverse place as NYC, were used to interracial couples. I also assumed that she would know that my boyfriend and I do not see each other as an “exotic” race that couldn’t be dated – we’ve never had a problem in our past dating members of different races. We even forget what color we are because we see each other every day and we do have our distinctive “culture” if you want to call it that… I am a Caribbean-born American Woman and he’s of English decent (it’s truly remarkable how we have integrated our “curry-making-meatloaf-baking” cuisine and “soca-hiphop-alternative-calypso” music).

I believe no matter how angry you are, you should bite your tongue if you are racist, this is why I wrote this blog. I think people who can be so explosive are likely to hurt others and do need help. Then again, I am not racist so I can’t relate with how she felt. I, however, felt that I did handle myself diplomatically when I sent her an email simply letting her know that I can’t do her project at this time (at least not this month when I seem the busiest).

I am curious to whether or not anyone else have had similar situations. I know mine isn’t as terrible as others that I have read about on the news, or read in non-fictional novels… I am aware that some people do get hurt in processes like this. Maybe you’re a white person who was treated unfairly by blacks, or vice versa, or Asian who was called a pejorative word, Latino who was treated badly… what is your story?

More about jerlyn

My name is Jerlyn Thomas. I own this blog and you can read more about me here. The views expressed on this site are by me and do not reflect those of my employer or my clients. The content here belongs to me and my guest contributors. Views and opinions expressed by all contributors belong to them and not me, the blog owner. All data and information provided on this site is for informational purposes only. I make no representations as to accuracy, completeness, currentness, suitability, or validity of any information on this site and will not be liable for any errors, omissions, or delays in this information or any losses, injuries, or damages arising from its display or use. All information is provided on an as-is basis. If you want to use content on your own site, you must ask permission first before you do so under these restrictions.

49 thoughts on “Terminate a service: receive racial slurs

  1. Nikki

    Wow. Just wow. Definitely leave this blog up, dude. I hope all her would-be clients google her first. Thank goodness for the internet!

    Reply

  2. rev kay

    first off, nikki, youre a moron. learn to think for yourself.
    second, go blow it out your ass since you have no idea who natalie really is. racist , i think not.
    peace dude.

    Reply

  3. Miss Rascist Hairdresser and American cornflakes « Johanna Tysk’s Blog

    […] story is longer and can be read at Jerlyn’s blog, but here are some excerpts from the e-mail that was sent to […]

    Reply

  4. Shweta

    Disgusting!
    I cant believe this cheap “Lady”. You have got to report her to the police. Find a lawyer and pull her in court. This is just WRONG!

    Reply

  5. Rene

    One word……Karma!

    Reply

  6. Nikki

    Re: rev kay’s comment

    Because calling someone the n-word to attempt to hurt their feelings is really “thinking for yourself”. And also not racist. Not at all.
    You’re right though, I don’t know who Natalie “really” is, but I do know enough, considering I saw an email she thought no one else would see, besides my friend, that is.
    It’s what people do when they think no one’s looking that makes them who they “really” are.
    But, how can I argue with your well-reasoned, intelligently articulated argument? I mean, I assume you read the blog… Did those VERBATIM QUOTES escape you?
    Whatever though, believe your friend instead of, y’know, FACTS.

    At any rate this is all out there for everyone to see now…And will surface in a few more blogs, I’m sure.
    But why are you guys so angry anyway? Surely there’s nothing embarrassing or racist about the email Natalie sent, right?

    In conclusion, I think it’s clear who the morons are.

    Reply

  7. Laurie

    I don’t know who you are or why you would be so childish and petty to write this blog. Certainly, it is wholly inappropriate and unprofessional. However, I do know Natalie — I’ve known her since she was a small child. Natalie is many things, but, racist she is certainly NOT. If your assertions were not so inflammatory and outrageous, they would be downright laughable. There are not enough positive words or ways to describe Natalie: she’s true, warm, loving, sweet, passionate, frank, blunt, funny, bright, intelligent, focused, aggressive, insightful, real, loyal, protective….and the list goes on. I am a lawyer friend of her’s and I read your blog. I know her side of the story, and it seems to me that you have your facts entirely incorrect, and your blog is written to be in your favor (which, of course, is because you you wrote it). However, if the facts would be known to all of the readers, they would agree with me and everyone who knows Natalie — and disagree with your petty, immature self — that she is not a racist. Your blog does nothing but defame and persecute Natalie, and I suggest that you take it down immediately before she incurs any wrongdoing, harm or other detriment to her good name, physical and emotional wellbeing, and income. Further, perhaps the term that you so freely misquote in your blog should be looked at in the proper tone within which it was written and meant, and not the inferences you have unfairly and inaccurately rendered in your blog. Agreeably, the term has negative, hurtful conotations, however, it also refers to “a member of a socially disadvantaged class of persons,” which undeniably and accurately describes you and the way you conduct yourself and, as I can only imagine, your business.

    Reply

  8. Laurie

    Oh, and another thing, unless you have Natalie’s specific permission to use her photograph and/or likeness, or if you have a written waiver to use her photograph and/or likeness, you must take down the photographs of her on your blog. Of course, if you do not, using the photos would only further support a claim of defamation and/or slander.

    Reply

  9. Alex

    Now I wasn’t going to get involved in all this until some racist shit that offended me was said. I have something to ask Laurie who left her “legal” comment above: Really? Really Laurie? So you are an attorney? OK, I didn’t see your name listed in the New York State Bar Association website. All lawyers licensed to practice in New York State are listed in that directory. Well maybe you are from New Jersey, so what is your bar registration number ? Let me guess, you probably don’t have one.

    You guys may scare some uneducated people with your talk about legal action, but daytimes spent with Judge Judy and Judge Mathis do not make you an expert in the law. In fact we have a name for those types of people: unemployed. So take your case of defamation “slash” slander to court, afterwards we can all fight on Jerry Springer and after that, you can get a DNA test on Maury. After all this drama, Jerlyn and I will go on divorce court where I will accuse her of trying to use me to get out of her “socio-economically disadvantaged destiny” then the judge will laugh at me for trying to jumble a bunch of adverbs, nouns and adjectives that together make no sense, in order to sound smart.

    Have you read what you wrote Laurie? So the “n” word refers to a socially disadvantaged class? Yah, in AMERICA that would mean black people. How you seem to parse the “n” word out to not include black people to defend your friend is pretty ridiculous. I invite you to try explaining this on a megaphone on a corner of 125th St at noon. And if they try to give you trouble, tell them they better not mess with you because you brought your whole ‘hood with you. Then you can show them your bed sheet with the 2 holes poked in it to scare them off.

    Reply

  10. Sara

    I could not have said it better……………I support every word that was written by Laurie. Natalie is far from a racist.

    Reply

  11. jerlyn

    That must be easy to say ‘Sara’ coming from whereeverthefuckyouare Pennsylvania, black population = 0. I’ll let them know to hold the next NAACP convention there.

    Reply

  12. Gina

    I have known Natalie since age 4. Although she is known for using colorful language, she is most certainly not a racist. This woman obviously got under her skin and Natalie’s retort went too far. This is a clear case of slander.

    Reply

  13. Alex

    Seriously, do you people read the shit you write? Sara your friend Laurie implicitly confirmed that Natalie called her a ni**er by defending her use of it. It’s not even like we heard her say it, I SAW IT IN WRITING with my own eyes, we can frame it and send it to you, stupid ass.

    Reply

  14. A stranger

    Racist people are miserable, bitter people who live in their own private hell on a daily basis and want other people to be as miserable as they are and that’s the only reason they do and say things like this. I pity them.

    Reply

  15. Nikki

    I don’t get it.

    If Natalie’s so “not racist”, why are the excerpts from her emails making her and all 3 of her friends so mad? I mean… If there’s nothing wrong with what she said, why is it a problem to have her image associated with it?

    I believe the terms “childish and petty, wholly inappropriate and unprofessional, inflammatory and outrageous, downright laughable, petty, and immature” speak more to Natalie’s character than that of the poster.

    Also, would a lawyer really use something as grammatically incorrect as *her’s*? Come on.

    Reply

  16. JC915

    Natalie has been my hairdresser for the past six years. During all those years, I have NEVER seen any type of racist behavior from her or heard her make any inappropriate comments. In fact, I think of Natalie as quite the opposite from what’s being portrayed here- very accepting of other cultures and interested in getting a better view of the world as a whole. I’m a Hispanic woman and a committed client of Natalie. If Natalie had any ounce of racism of her, particularly in the way that you’re describing, I have a feeling that I would’ve detected it a long time ago. Lying about someone to prove a point certainly isn’t a commendable route to go. Someone said it right, KARMA!

    Reply

  17. Sara

    Jerlyn wrote
    Mar 06 at 22:38 That must be easy to say ‘Sara’ coming from whereeverthefuckyouare Pennsylvania, black population = 0. I’ll let them know to hold the next NAACP convention there.

    For a business owner who portrays to be so busy, how is it you have such time to be so hurtful yourself. To bring out names that you were called does not seem to be as vicious as you are being. Your language is so immature and very unprofessional. Your pictures of yourself are very attractive. Your smile is sweet and you portray to be a lovely educated young woman. The pictures of Natalie are also of a very beautiful young woman. Take down your blog. Wash out your cursing mouth…………be professional and human. Remember the tables could turn when potential customers of yours may think… Do I want to do business with Jerlyn M Thomas

    Reply

  18. jerlyn

    Dear Sara,
    I write this on my down time 🙂 it take a minute. My potential customers hopefully would feel the same way that I feel about the n-word.

    Reply

  19. Alex

    Actually I told her to say that last one, I thought it was funny. Jerlyn doesn’t like to go to that level, but I do…

    Reply

  20. Sara

    You are still trying to be hurtful. Alex tells you to say something and you do? Jerlyn doesn’t like to go to that level? So why did she??
    Jerlyn what is the need for you to write and share it with the internet?

    Reply

  21. Alex

    You know Sara, as people with full time jobs, we don’t have much of a life. This is our entertainment. If we don’t have you guys to make fun of what are we going to do? Please come up with some meaner and funnier stuff next entry to try to hurt our feelings. I have been disappointed lately by the lack of wit in your responses, can we bring back the fake lawyer?

    Reply

  22. Jerlyn M. Thomas » Blog Archive » Reflection Friday

    […] You know Sara, as people with full time jobs, we don’t have …Alex […]

    Reply

  23. Sara

    I think Jerlyn and Alex are one in the same. Jerlyn is the angel who hides behink the Devil.

    Reply

  24. Sara

    Behind the Devil….I know you are all about the spelling and proper english!!!

    Reply

  25. Alex

    Dang! How did you know Sara! You got me, I don’t know how, but you got me. You know what? Jerlyn doesn’t really exist, this has all been a big scheme by me to try and make myself feel important by having some enemies who read whatever I write every day. Just a scheme to get people to read my fake blog. You have convinced me, I will take it down. I was waiting for a response last night from you and when it didn’t come, I spent the night in the corner sobbing…….or not.

    I also noticed your responses are getting shorter too. Don’t give up! You can still up your shit talking skills! Maybe you just need some help. For example, for the comment I told Jerlyn to say, I would have responded with something like: Dang Alex, who are you anyways? You need to butt the fuck out because this isn’t any of your damn business. Who are you trying to be in that picture anyways with that damn roadkill wrapped around your neck? I don’t know how you got Jerlyn but that shit will not attract more black girls….and then I would go on to something about how I am trying to be black by dating Jerlyn. See? Simple. Now you try.

    Reply

  26. Rachel

    Regardless of whether or not Natalie is a racist, she made some racist comments…it’s unprofessional. I think it’s good that Jerlyn is bringing this to the people who read her blog…if the ‘n word’ is still being used in professional correspondence then possibly this blog can help people realize they need to watch what they say regardless of whether their racist or not. As far as doing business with Jerlyn goes…I’ll do business with her any day…it’s nice to see people bringing morals and ethics back to business interactions. As someone who has worked with Jerlyn before I can say that she is reliable, professional and considerate…that’s more than can be said for a lot of people.

    Reply

  27. Ann Onymous

    Anyone who knows Natalie knows she is not racist. Yes, reading the email in isolation makes it appear as though Natalie is a racist. But, there is a difference between truly believing something and saying something just to hurt someone else. (If we are being honest with ourselves, I’m sure we can all think of instances in which we have said things out of anger that we just said to be hurtful but didn’t necessarily mean).

    You screwed Natalie over by failing to deliver what you promised, upping the price that you had agreed to, and trying to keep her $100 payment even though you weren’t going to do any work for her. Your portrayal of the story is (not surprisingly) completely inaccurate. Natalie was keeping me updated on your dealings with her every step of the way. Understandably, Natalie was angry with you. Given the nature of your relationship with her (which you conveniently omitted from your blog), Natalie viewed you as a friend. Even though you claim not to have known her that well, you obviously felt close enough to her to let her into your life in a very intimate way. Thus, it wasn’t as though Natalie was just a client and you were just a service provider. When someone screws us over, especially someone we view as a friend, we sometimes react out of anger and want to say whatever we can to hurt the person. There is a difference between saying what we think will be most hurtful to someone who has wronged us and truly possessing those attitudes.

    I am not from a backwoods anywhere and I have no tolerance for racism. If I truly thought Natalie was racist I would not come to her defense, no matter how much I otherwise liked her (and if I thought she was racist, I wouldn’t even like her). But I know she is not racist. You might think, “Only someone who is racist deep down inside would use the n-word, even if it is just to be hurtful.” I could understand that view; however, Natalie has her own unique use of the n-word, and it has nothing to do with race. I understand that it may be difficult, as a Black person, to isolate that word from its historical racial context – I get that. But Natalie uses the n-word to mean a “low class person” and she uses it for people of any race…mostly white people, actually. I have asked her about her atypical use of the n-word before, and she has explained that it is not meant to imply anything about one’s race, only about one’s behaviors and attitudes. Consistent with that explanation, until now, I have only ever heard Natalie use this word for white people.

    People may have difficulty with this alternative use of the n-word because of its predominantly racist meaning and historical use. I understand that. But I know that anyone who knows Natalie can verify this explanation. Besides, in the English language, we use controversial words in ways that imply a different meaning all the time. If we say, “that’s gay”, does that mean we hate homosexuals? If we say, “that’s lame”, does that mean we are making fun of people who can’t walk (i.e., lame people)? If we call something “dumb”, does that mean we are ridiculing people who can’t speak (original meaning of the word dumb)? If we say that something or someone is “retarded”, are we really expressing hatred and intolerance towards people with mental disabilities? The answer to all of these questions is usually no. Natalie’s use of the n-word is really analogous to these other examples (keeping in mind that her use of the word is not the typical use of the word).

    I know for a fact that Natalie has the utmost respect for people of different races, including African-Americans. She has been to Africa several times, has many Black friends and has had romantic relationships with several Black people, takes African dance lessons, specializes in multicultural hair and make-up, and studies cultural anthropology. Is this the profile of a racist?

    Anyway, I think it is unfair and unprofessional of you to leave out/misconstrue important details of the story and to publicize words that were exchanged in a private argument between two people who have a much different relationship than most service providers/clients. I hope you reflect on what I have written and decide to remove this post.

    Reply

  28. Alex

    Dang Laurie or “Ann Onymous” whatever you want to be called, what are you guys going to do next? Try to get Al Sharpton and the Rainbow Coalition to try to do some damage control to show she is not racist. Like I said, go explain that shit you just wrote on the corner of 125th, or just try explaining it to any normal ass black person. Here is my impression of you:

    “Hey Natalie is not racist, she loves ni**ers! The word ni**er is only a term of endearment. She only calls her black friends ni**ers when she is mad! You understand right Alex? I’m sure you let it slip when you get into a fight with her, come on we’ve ALL done it. Natalie has been to Africa (the ni**er homeland) and has tons of ni**er friends! She even specializes in ni**er hair! So in short, she is not racist and you should take down your blog that just lets people know how she really feels.”

    No Laurie, I don’t let it slip, because it is not on my mind. When people get mad, the truth comes out. You could get every single minority in New York State to come to her defense and I still wouldn’t be convinced. Your lame attempts to try to contract out some hispanics and blacks on here to try to vouch for her just make you all look even more stupid.

    Dang I love Saturdays! We get like instant responses from all you losers.

    Reply

  29. jerlyn

    Dear “Ann,” or “Laurie,” or “Sara” since I know Natalie is “MAC” I guess you guys have nothing better to do on a Saturday besides make up new email addresses to defend the use of the n-word. I am not even going to attempt to educate you on the word because I already have. However, I will like to make things clear: I drew up a contract for Natalie because there was no initial agreement of the price of the project before I did that. I did it to protect myself because her project would have taken months. She didn’t sign that contract so there’s none that binds her to that contract. I also told her she didn’t need to give me any money before I started working, however since she did – I started sketching ideas and brainstorming for it. The normal way we do things is by reading the contract, signing it, paying the deposit maybe you show have advised her to do that since you were kept “updated on [our] dealings with her every step of the way

    The story is accurate, and just because I didn’t add “oh I met Natalie in November and we were friends and we went to Dim Sum and she came over and we had lunch and we got drunk and she met my friends etc” doesn’t make it less accurate. That part of the story has nothing to do with her calling me the n-word.

    I pasted the parts of the email that showed her use of the n-word. I didn’t rewrite any of the words, I quoted as is. Also, I separated my personal life and my business life. If I asked for Natalie’s services, I would have paid her exact fee and wouldn’t have expected her to give me a discount because we all live in NYC we can’t always afford to do that, if she cares to give me a discount it’s all on her and if I felt like giving her it would also be my choice. I will have you know that The N-word doesn’t mean a “low class person,” there’s a free dictionary on dictionary.com. Also, I don’t condone the use of “that’s gay,” or “that’s retarded” and your use of that word is in your discretion.

    I think you should seriously have her send you the email that she sent so you can realize that she brought in my “White” boyfriend into response to a business between me and her. Also in response to Natalie working with multicultural hair etc… I think that’s nice and all but seriously does that make her less racist?

    And no, I will not be removing this post because instead of trying to get Miss Natalie to admit she was wrong for calling me n-word you’re continually defending her usage of it. Of course you’ll have to educate me on your professionalism because I didn’t know my professionalism extended to my personal life such as my “White” boyfriend.

    Reply

  30. Ann Onymous

    I am not Laurie; nice try, though. (Actually, I am rather surprised that you confused me with the person who wrote Laurie’s post, but that’s beside the point. Actually, I suppose it does suggest that you didn’t read my post carefully if you think it was from the same person as the Laurie post.)

    Your interpretation of my post/impression of me is laughable (and not in the way that you intended it to be) and only makes you look bad. Try thinking about what I have said – really thinking critically – instead of just spouting the same rhetoric over and over again. I didn’t say ANYTHING about slipping and accidentally saying the n-word (a la Michael Richards). I agree that that would be a ridiculous argument. My argument is essentially the opposite of that argument: When people get mad, it’s not necessarily the case that “the truth comes out” (you’re confusing mad with drunk, I think). On the contrary, when people get mad, they often want to try to say what they know will hurt the other person the most, regardless of whether they believe it or not. This is not a “slip-up” – this is a purposeful and deliberate attempt to hurt another person by saying the worst thing you can think of. I’m not saying that is a nice thing to do; I’m saying it is not necessarily a racist thing to do.

    Please do not put words in my mouth. I was not trying to be inflammatory. I thought my post might inspire some thoughtful and intelligent debate, not simply calling me names, trying to make it appear as though I am the same person who previously posted (in an effort to make it look like there are only a few people who support Natalie?), and replying with your stock retorts. I have no idea what you even mean by my “lame attempts to contract out some hispanics and blacks…” I am just one person who posted her opinion and who is not affiliated with any other person on here. And by the way – does the fact that I posted once and you responded “like instantly” make you a loser, too?

    Reply

  31. jerlyn

    hold on, I am making lunch and I have to run some errands and then I will get back to you!

    Reply

  32. Ann Onymous

    FYI – from Merriam-Webster Dictionary (m-w.com). See definition 3 and take particular note of the comment on definition 3 in the usage paragraph “*except in sense 3*, it is *otherwise* a word expressive of racial hatred and bigotry.”

    nigger
    One entry found.

    nigger

    Main Entry:
    nig·ger Listen to the pronunciation of nigger
    Pronunciation:
    ˈni-gər
    Function:
    noun
    Etymology:
    alteration of earlier neger, from Middle French negre, from Spanish or Portuguese negro, from negro black, from Latin niger
    Date:
    1786

    1usually offensive; see usage paragraph below : a black person
    2usually offensive; see usage paragraph below : a member of any dark-skinned race
    3: a member of a socially disadvantaged class of persons
    usage Nigger in senses 1 and 2 can be found in the works of such writers of the past as Joseph Conrad, Mark Twain, and Charles Dickens, but it now ranks as perhaps the most offensive and inflammatory racial slur in English. Its use by and among blacks is not always intended or taken as offensive, but, except in sense 3, it is otherwise a word expressive of racial hatred and bigotry.

    Reply

  33. Alex

    Cool, thanks Ann Onymous. We never knew ni**er doesn’t refer to just black people. Maybe we should use it more often then. This has all been a BIG misunderstanding. We are going to Jamaica now, we will let some black people know that when they get called a ni**er it is not racist it’s just about being poor and disadvantaged! Then we will tell them to spread the word to all their black friends. This whole racial thing of the past 300 years has just been because we didn’t understand the meaning of the word, which you have now laid out so eloquently for us. Your definition of this will change everything…..or not, dumbass.

    Reply

  34. Ann Onymous

    Alex, if you spent less time trying to be funny and calling people names, it might be easier to take you seriously. You should take an example from Jerlyn, whose responses are thoughtful and reasonable. Your juvenile attempts at sarcasm are tiresome and do nothing to help you advance your point of view. They just make you look like an irrational kid with an anger management problem.

    I’m NOT condoning the use of the n-word, nor am I defending racism. And I didn’t lay anything out eloquently or write that definition that you refer to as my definition. I simply pasted a dictionary definition in response to Jerlyn’s statement to me: “I will have you know that The N-word doesn’t mean a “low class person,” there’s a free dictionary on dictionary.com.”

    I am also NOT commenting on “this whole racial thing of the past 300 years.” Please stop trying to extrapolate my very specific arguments beyond what I am actually saying – you keep putting words in my mouth that are nowhere near consistent with the points I am making. To break it down for you again, I am clarifying ONE PERSON’S use of the n-word by stating that I know her to use this word in the non-race-related sense that is indeed an accepted (albeit uncommon) definition of the word. I am further saying that the other seemingly racist comments (i.e., white boyfriend, etc.) were not made out of a genuine belief that those statements are true, but rather out of an attempt to hurt someone who wronged her. I am not saying that I think this is a nice thing to do, I am saying that the reason for these statements was an intent to hurt Jerlyn and not indicative of some kind of true racist attitudes slipping through.

    You can try to portray me as a defender of racism all you want, but that is absolutely not the case. I am actually someone who is known to speak out against racism. However, I am a believer in looking closely at circumstances and not taking situations at face value. Haven’t you ever called someone a name out of anger – a bitch, a fucking asshole, whatever – without truly believing that this was a characteristic of that person? Can’t you understand just saying something THAT YOU DIDN’T BELIEVE OR MEAN only to hurt someone else? Have you never had to utter the phrase (and truly mean it), “I didn’t mean that, I only said it because I was mad”? This type of thing is human nature.

    Jerlyn, whether Natalie apologizes to you or whether you apologize to her is none of my business or my concern. That is between the two of you. I also did not accuse you of falsifying the emails, as you seem to suggest earlier. I am not challenging the content of the email. My only goal here is to make the point that, although Natalie’s comments look racist in the context in which you have portrayed them, I know that the motivation for the comments is not racist attitudes. Natalie felt angry, hurt, and betrayed by your actions (which are not as you described them) and wanted to use words that would make you feel the same way that your behavior made her feel. That’s all.

    Reply

  35. Sara

    Do You really believe their will be no action taken against you? I will be the one who will be having the last word soon. or not dubass Alex-Jerlyn!

    Reply

  36. Sara

    To the defense of Natalie again! You only wish you could professionally compare to her. NEVER!! She has seen the world in aspects you could only imagine. Her anger was directed to you only. Because she was being real and thinking her comments were directed to only you. You in anger tried to make her look bad. NOT!! You only show your self for what you are…………

    Reply

  37. Craig

    Jerlyn/Alex, I generally don’t get involved in blogs but a mutual friend pointed it to me and Jerlyn I applaud you.

    I can understand Sara and the others trying to do damage control for their friend and it’s understood.

    What we must accept here is that she is “PREJUDICED” whether she knows/accepts it or not. Pointing to you that you need a White boyfriend and Fancy Contract to move out of your Socio Economic Disadvantage. Jerlyn please let this woman know in the Caribbean we don’t practice racism or hold intolerable prejudices. We are raised by adults with wholesome values who point out to us “ALL PEOPLE ARE THE SAME (except for personalities 🙂 )” .

    I respect your relationship with Alex and I’m happy he stands at your side through this nonsensical back and forth and I also say to Sara that before she wages war on you for voicing your dissatisfaction talk to her friend. Since you know she is not racist help her deal with her anger issues. I know BLACK people who would help her to have a kick ass website for FREE just to showcase her work and talent as well as theirs just for love of the craft. This behavior does not help her and I am quite sure she lost a really good professional relationship with Jerlyn by crossing that line.

    Think before you talk and “Jerlyn” think before you react I think you did but I know how intolerance can inflame emotions and you did a good job of not BLASTING her the way I would have lol.

    Reply

  38. Nikki

    STOP TRYING TO DEFEND THE USE OF THE N WORD. EVERYONE on here knows that if a white employee at a company called a black employee at the same company the n word, like Natalie did to Jerlyn, there would be a law suit. And everyone on here knows who would WIN the law suit. It wouldn’t be the white person.

    There is NO excuse for using that language in a professional setting. None at all. Your parents didn’t raise you right and you have not learned to respect other people. All you’re doing is making excuses for Natalie’s, and no doubt your own, bad behavior. If she had just apologized maybe things would be different and this post wouldn’t be the #1 google result for her Natalie’s name.

    And pretending to be a lawyer on someone’s blog comments is just retarded. But, I suppose that just fits with the rest of your character.

    Reply

  39. Shandooga

    I have had white people attempt to hit me with cars, more than once. I have had things thrown at me in the street more than once. I have been chased by armed gangs of whites more than once. I have been denied jobs and decent apartments more than once.

    Wherever I go, I have to put up with every moderately attractive woman’s shenanigans whenever I happen to catch sight of her; ranging from moderate discomfort to cowering in fear. Most of this has happened in New York right up until 2001 when I left. I now deal with the same crap and more in Florida.

    I am not imagining it; many white people are racist and don’t even know it. Many Latin people are increasingly affected by this preposterous character disorder as well.

    Reply

  40. Eric

    Here’s my take…

    Obviously, the people defending Natalie on here are her friends who know her very well. To them she is their bud; they probably laugh alot together, go out drinking, what have you. I don’t know Natalie, but I’m sure she is a nice person. As a general vibe from her friends, I’m feeling, ‘Well, Natalie isn’t really a racist, when she said that stuff, she didn’t mean it like that.; trust me, I know her better than you.’

    Sadly, Jerlyn never got the chance to know Natalie better because she was too busy reading things like:

    “I DONT do business with NI**gers anymore and this is EXACTLY WHY>> Why did I think you would be any different…”

    Since we’re throwing out out definitions…

    racism

    • noun 1 the belief that there are characteristics, abilities, or qualities specific to each race. 2 discrimination against or antagonism towards other races.

    Now, I’m sure that there are two sides to this story, as with every story. It’s clear that Natalie, like Jerlyn, was upset. But this isn’t about who was right and wrong. That literally doesn’t even matter. Natalie’s comments are hateful.

    Her pals don’t think of their friend as a racist because, as her pals, they are never on the butt end of this kind of behavior. But read these comments in a vacuum. Pretend you don’t know Natalie as well as you do. Pretend you are anyone else. Pretend you are Jerlyn. Do that and read, ‘Only a typical ni**ger would suggest that I was counting the dollars of that afternoon.’

    You can’t say stuff like this, no matter what you “really” mean. Words have definitions. You can’t change them.

    Reply

  41. Benjimon

    I really think the ENTIRE story about this fiasco should come to light if you all are going to have such a bitch fest about it.

    You know exactly what I’m talking about Jery….

    Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. You spin like a politician. Publish the entire email please.

    Reply

  42. jerlyn

    I had no issues with Natalie at all until she used the n-word. And don’t bring that Bull crap to me about she uses it among her friends because the context was racist, there’s no denying that. Also, I can choose whatever I post in my blog and I decided to paste the areas that were offensive. Why would I post an entire page of frivolous crap? Oh yea, I guess I should have pasted where she called me “skank” and “I am happy to donate $100 to “help Jerlyn escape the ghetto”fund. ” C’mon “Benjimon,” I didn’t think it was necessary because she can call me anything she wants, just not the n-word. That’s the point of this post.

    Also, her friends attempting to defend the use of this word only prolongs and further the damage it has already done to her.

    Have a good day “Benjimon.”

    Reply

  43. Hector

    Nothing justifies the use of a racial slur. NOTHING. The circumstances that led up to it are meaningless.

    Reply

  44. Jerlyn M. Thomas » Blog Archive » I’m so bored

    […] Nothing justifies the use of a racial slur. NOTHING. The c…Hector […]

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  45. Rene

    Wow, natalie has some dedicated friends. Why doesn’t natalie just apologize for what was done. Non-racist people don’t use racial slurs. To those of hispanic and black decent just because someone doesn’t come off as racist doesn’t mean they are not racist.

    I’m sure the children who have lost their lives to their own parents didn’t know their parents were murderers. To the people who’ve lost their lives to people for dumb things like money, affairs, etc, killed by their own best friends, husbands, wifes, children do you think they knew this. You never really know anyone, not even people you grow up with.

    What people don’t realize is there are a lot of racist people who smile in your faces everyday….every single day, but you’ll never know if you have something they need. Until you’re no longer needed you will be friendds, maybe even good friends. Like in the case of natalie. Her true colors came out when what she needed wouldn’t be her slave anymore. Natalie would be considered a racist. Get over it sara and the rest of her dumbass posse. Jerlyn is what she is, black and Natalie is what she is a racist.

    Reply

  46. Kymi

    Craig I am happy for your post and you are right about the Caribbean.
    Before I landed in America I thought that racism was something of ancient history – like Lascaux cave painting/venus of willendorf. This just goes to show how much of it exist in the Caribbean. At first when I was faced with it – not that I noticed, for I was made wise by another – that it was in deed. I am quite oblivious to these things. For I was not one that was raised to have an super sensitive n***erhating radar that every time it picked up danger the alarm would go off.
    Like Jerlyn I live in my own little bubble – I could cared less for ppl and the prejudice/discriminating/racist mentality. It has nothing to do with me if you want to live the rest of your life all screwed up in the head because of your stupid childhood environment. Go right on – no one is stopping you. We are all adults and now have the freedom to choose whatever behavior we want.
    I feel sorry for you. That you are so screwed over you do not even know right from wrong.
    To Natalie whether it was a mistake/anger/hurtful/drunk – I could careless. You have no right to ever call another that. You don’t see me going around cursing my friends when I get mad at them – the derogatory term for their ethnicity. I have friends from every nation, well not all but very close to that number. I am very friendly and do not see color I see character and if you have a good character then I will talk to you. The one thing being in a group with mixed backgrounds – you never, ever, ever, call them ‘racial’ name – never – not ever – not even when you are making a joke – far less angry.
    To my opinion humans should not base ppl on their color but on their character – and just like MLK [oh no she didn’t just use the ‘MLK’ word – lol] yeah but according the this phrase – he was right.
    This is how I was raise in the Caribbean and this is how i am going to stay. I am not going to change because I am in some new land – people and their stupid mentality will not change me. I laugh at them. They live in their little bubble. Very small minded – very close minded. I laugh at them all the time. Being a traveler and seeing so much of the world it is quite pathetic they way some of them think here.
    And no the Caribbean is not 100% black because we are mixed with many different nationalities. I guess that why we think differently.

    Reply

  47. D

    These words ring true.. and speak to this racist and inept individual –

    “Until the philosophy which holds one race superior and another inferior is finally and permanently discredited and abandoned, everywhere is war and until there are no longer first-class and second-class citizens of any nation, until the color of a man’s skin is of no more significance than the color of his eyes. And until the basic human rights are equally guaranteed to all without regard to race, there is war. And until that day, the dream of lasting peace, world citizenship, rule of international morality, will remain but a fleeting illusion to be pursued, but never attained… now everywhere is war.”

    Reply

  48. Reflection Friday | Design Lady NYC

    […] anymore and this is EXACTLY WHY>> Why did I think you would be any different…” (You can read more in the other entry) She is racist for using the n-word and that’s […]

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