I found some old paintings from Junior High through highschool that I did. A tiny blue sketchbook was among the pile. I realized that my signature on each drawing was erased. The “erlyn” was replaced with “oseph” to spell Joseph (my brother’s middle name). The J and the Thomas would look like my handwriting, so I giggled when I saw this.

He loved doing that with my work, I never understood why he wanted to pass my drawings as his own. I never got to ask him.

A few of his friends have been dreaming about him lately and my mom told me that she had a dream of him.

Among the paintings that I did, I remembered painting the exact location where he died. :-/. When I found it among the pile, I got really sad. I painted it when my dad kicked me out when I was 18(long story). It was one of my favorite watercolor pieces. I hate it now of course.


Today I bought the shirt that he will be buried in. I know he would have loved it if he was alive. We also got tshirts made to wear to his funeral. I started on the booklet but I still need to get the program itself.

I am going to bed early for once, I am thinking however: My life will never be the same knowing that Gilbert’s not here.

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