The funeral was yesterday. I’m relieved that it’s over. It was surreal. I discussed coping with death with one of the friends that I hung out with last night (he lost his father, his grandmother and uncle in one year). He gave me some incite and made me feel more at ease.
I recited the Eulogy that I wrote at the church yesterday. I was shaking all over because while at the podium, I began thinking that – damn he isn’t coming back and I had found emails from him the night before that he wrote to me while I was abroad and I was thinking of them. Before the coffin closed, I placed a letter that I wrote to him and the lyrics to Movado’s “Guide me” or “On the Rock” lyrics because I was told he always sang that song. When I looked at the body, he didn’t look like himself at all. He was wearing the shirt that I chose for him. Sadly it had a tie on, he hated dressing up.
It was also weird because we didn’t know any of the people doing parts of the program (like singing or reading scriptures). They were chosen by my father so they weren’t familiar faces since they werent introduced. The pastor also didn’t really preach about coping, like what we are used to from other funerals, and instead preached an uplifting sermon where a guy in the audience seemed overcame by the holy spirit so there were bursts of, “AMEN,” “PREACH IT,” “HALLELUJAH,” and him standing drawing attention to himself. However, the actual burial made me relieved because after 3 weeks he is resting. The pallbearers were friends of my brother and they got a flag signed and tied it to the Coffin. The men also placed 2 dice in the cement and the flowers looked nice.
Gilbert is resting and last night, I went out and got drunk in his honour. Now, I leave for NY.
