Haha most of this will be cynical but wait until the end.
I am starting to write this on December 28th – 3 days away from the New Year in hopes that I cover everything that I’ve experienced this year and that I learned from. What an insanely crazy year it has been. It’s not able to be published on December 31st some hours before I sleep to prep for my trip to DC.
I will try to order from January through December – I’ve linked some posts.
In January I didn’t say Happy New Year in my blog, maybe that’s what started the events of a bad year. So, before I give a consolidated post about 2008 I will say, “Happy New Year” – just in case I don’t get to tell you tomorrow.
The starting of 2008, I did have a boyfriend named Alex (for our 2nd New Year together). We spent it at some friend, Dorothee’s apartment. I haven’t hung out with her for months now (I also learned how to smoothly drift apart from certain friends this year – I will explain later maybe in another post). I thought I was at my happiest moment in life starting the New Year with a kiss from the one I loved at the time and being around very exuberant people.
As you can see, I was very happy here.
Also in January: I finished coding themissionnyc.com website with Danah Givens, I purchased the Digital SLR that I had always wanted, I was an ISFP, Nikki Perry left the company that I currently worked for, I sort of hated my job for reasons beyond my control (an ACD made my life hell), I was obsessed with Scrabulous on facebook, I paid attention to my weight and consumption and I began having second thoughts about my relationship and came to the conclusion that the grass always seems greener on the other side so I should stay put.
I started coding my portfolio in AS 3.0. I started questioning my happiness some more. I acknowledged that the people that I have encountered on facebook aren’t exactly friends but people that I allow to access my profile. My boyfriend at the time thought he was happier than I was, I never believed him and still don’t. :-). I’m very appreciative of what I have and I am happy to be blessed with a lot of self confidence. I felt like a cog in a machine at my job. Everything was winding down out of control. I also found out that I had an older brother. I made 23. I questioned my intelligence and my degree on paper. Did a photoshoot of Kimmie.
I did more knitting in March. I also made Business Cards for my company: Jadersworld Creative LLC.
I was called the n-word by a woman Natalie that I had befriended the year prior who attempted to get me arrested but just became an internet laughing stalk. I blame my acquaintance with her on my ex as well (since I probably seem like I am blaming him) – she wasn’t anyone I would have considered a friend. I became addicted to Design Sponge Online. I confirmed that I would be voting for Obama. I bought a sewing machine. I started reading more. I began focusing on geni.com some more. I went to Atlantic City for the first time.
April – My best & worst month
I learned the value of life because April was the start of uncontrollable events this year. Although I have to question March. I entered the Cannes Young Lions Competition with Missy from my job.
Johanna Tysk left the company. I was promoted as Senior Interactive Graphic Designer, I cried because I was having an awful time under my manager who I still blame for giving me such a miserable time. When I thought things couldnt get much worst the promotion was announced one day before my brother died. I was out celebrating my promotion with then boyfriend, Alex, and I received a frantic call from my aunt numerous times. I went outside to listen to the message and to call her back her response: “They KILLED HIM!” I proceeded to as, “WHO! WHO!” and she couldn’t answer properly so I called my mom and she told me my brother, I felt dizzy and wanted to pass out. Alex and I took a cab back to our home. In April, I understood how death affects you when you’re close to the person. It made me realize that I may need to say more. The last words to Gilbert J. Thomas was, “Take Care ok.” I am still not sure how the man who shot him looks like.
I wrote the Eulogy and designed the funeral books. This was also the month that I found out that my dad had a “fiancee” (supposedly). While on the island for the funeral I also found out that my boyfriend at the time was busy messaging random women on the internet (while his gf was grieving the loss of her brother). I confronted him with it and said he was being selfish. He was also studying for exams and claimed he just needed friends and that he had to do all these chores by himself and missed me around (and blah blah). I attempted to break up with him and I was being irrational to him. I said I’d speak about it when I got back because I was busy with dealing with my brother.
The funeral took 3 weeks to get together. My brother looked different in the coffin. I tried not to cry when I delivered the Eulogy. Many people kept calling us and I got an awful call from one of my aunts before that happened. It ended up being a call that would probably never make me forgive her. She said that if my brother was living with her, he’d never be dead. I sent corrections to the newspaper for the orbituary. The day he was buried, the weather was nice out. His friends all wore shirts with his photo on it. Everyone was there to help comfort us.I came back to NYC on the 12th.
I added my brother’s favorite song, “I’m on the Rock,” by Movado to my iPod and played it over and over. I kept remembering my brother’s voice in my head. The way he pronounced my name when he tried getting my attention. I got angry at myself for everytime I got angry at him – then forgave myself because life must move on. I tried wondering when I would ever stop crying. I also learned how to make Egg Plant Parmesan. My ex also hated that I made it often and he never complained about my food before :-/, so I took it elsewhere and someone else loved it.
I thought about writing a biography of my brother, then realized that I do not know of him as much, especially in this past year before his death.
The launch of the site under my awful manager at the time, launched. I was ecstatic and I asked to be removed from his team because dealing with the strains of mourning and work-stress was unbearable. My tolerance level dropped to nothing. I became a cold-hearted person and a realist.
I gave myself a haircut and the last day I went out with Alex, I realized things were changing. He came to meet my friends and I at K-Town for dinner and he acted like a dick and everyone around me noticed. I thought it was his studying that made him this way, so I apologized to my friends.
I got a new baby sister (well 1/2 sister) as almost a surprise. She was named Curlyn or Kerlyn… either one made me feel strange and a weird sense of flattery. Obama won as democratic candidate and I was excited. I started a Recipe Blog. Alex broke up with me, after a little over 2 years on June 6th. I felt indifferent because I was still mourning my brother. I still thought he was being selfish and I investigated to find the truth. I found a web of lies and felt that I could do better. His friend Katheryn said I wasn’t ready for someone like him. I disagreed and noticed that he wasn’t good enough for me so I had a smooth transition into singleness (which I must say I enjoyed all through the rest of this year until this post). I was also happy to rid myself of negativity, his conditioning and non-open mindedness.
I made 1 year at the company that I worked at.
Everyone at work thought I was glowing.
I began looking for a place to live and wanted to get out as soon as possible and agreed to live with Danah Givens. I tried getting along with my ex for the duration of the month but I found out the entire truth about the breakup including the mutual friends we had. I befriended the woman he was trying to talk to and she sent me an email telling me the truth. So I let his family know. I let them know about him contacting women on craigslists as well. He went psychotic. I almost regretted it and didn’t haha.
I started going out more.. on dates even if the breakup was fresh because I knew I deserved better :-). There was no room for forgiveness at the time but I did end up later this year.
I also got a new desk/cube
I moved to Brooklyn. I realized who my closer friends were. Kimmie is a really good person. I drove the UHaul from Queens to Brooklyn and she came along.
I went to my first dubwar event.
I turned down men who wanted to be in relationships with me because I didn’t want to be in anything serious.
I met with my other 1/2 sister after years of not seeing each other. She didn’t seem weird thankfully haha, hey girl! Apparently we have some features, yah including the forehead – go ahead say it.
I called Chad randomly. He said he wanted to visit me. I paid off my credit cards completely. My credit score shot up! I completed antanderik.com as part of my freelance. I also redid my portfolio finally:
My mom gave me a journal to write in. I use it now and then but it’s mostly to write about how certain people that I date makes me feel… and my thoughts on my brother’s death. I befriended Heiesuke from heiesuke.com. I found out that the person who killed my brother was using racially charged words before he shot him from behind.
My brother would have been 19. I was visited by my first close guyfriend in college ever, Chad.We were first friends in 2003.
Danah and I threw a houseparty, the events that led up to this made me realize we wouldn’t be good roommies. I tried Argentine Tango and loved it. I started taking photos of models and learning to retouch with the help of Heiesuke.
I decided to go to Florida to go skydiving. It fell through because of the weather but we went to a club.
I hadn’t seen my friend Shanna (on left) for years – almost 5.
The racist girl from February had befriended my friend and he contacted me after months and said, “That’s history. We are not talking anymore… she is a slut.” However, since I had my way of determining friendship I decided he wasn’t that good of a friend either. I started letting my hair grow. I donated to cancer research. I also started practicing for a 5K race for breast cancer research.
My friend Yvonne and I finished it in 34 minutes with over 25,000 people.
I had an awful roommate and she just had to go. It was weird because we worked together so when people asked it was just weird explaining why. However, I figured I needed someone who communicated better and wasn’t socially challenged. I tried redecorating.
I found out that my last roommate was a crazy psychotic b-word haha, at 4am one morning (read post here). OJ was found guilty. I drew on my desk.
I found out that I was allergic to my then roommate’s dog so we couldn’t live together. I got another haircut which cost $250 because I had everything done to it.
It did look fabulous. I even went out on a few dates. Palin who ran with McCain was a bad choice. I even considered being Republican before her. I decided to design a shirt in support of Obama. I went to a Lady Gaga Concert with Kimmie.
I voted in my first presidential elections for Obama. I was happy to be a part of History. I cried because here I was: a once-immigrant voting in America. November was also the month that I exercised my femininity. I knew what I wanted and I decided to cut off men that were playing games. I took a random trip to St. Croix to surprise my mom and dad. I am happy that I went and loved the warm weather for awhile. I relaxed and revived to go back to work (took 6 days). I decided to date Chad, after we visited his parents for Thanksgiving and loved them (but in December I realized we were wrong for each other). We considered via phone and decided to try to visit each other in North Carolina. It ended up seeming like more work than what it would have been worth.
I started working 12-16 hour days. To launch the last site: recipes.dinnermadeeasy.com. Even with the long hours, I loved to appreciate my job because I am respected even more now. I also started paying more attention to geni.com and watched the tree grow to over 1300 people connected. I did a lot of research on my great grandmother who died at the age of 114. I learned to appreciate the closest of my friends, such as Kimmie and Lissette. I understood why I was different from lots of my peers (not that crazy we just have different paths of life). By the way, I did learn to forgive my ex but not forget what he did. Xmas came and went, and the point that I am at now is: crossing over to the new year in a beautiful friendship turned relationship, that I hope goes well. I am in reckless abandon. Note to you new year debbie downers – don’t call my phone with any BS this year or I won’t answer hahah see y’all in 2009! Happy New Year! I have no resolutions – maybe I will be less cynical, deal?
Tags: 2009, Alexander MacKnight, Atlantic City, barack obama, Cannes Young Lions, Danah Givens, Design Sponge Online, Dorothee Imhoff, geni.com, Gilbert J. Thomas, Gilbert Thomas, Heiesuke, heiesuke.com, jerlyn thomas, Johanna Tysk, Kimmie, Lucinda Thomas, Movado, Natalie, Natalie Decanini, New Year, Nikki Perry, Obama, Shanna Williams, The Mission NYC