I’m writing this in light of what happened on Sunday. Someone created a video and mentioned a comment that I said and compared it to cyber bullying. The video was intended initially to comment on a photo of her friend that was posted online. Her friend was called fat and possibly ridiculed because of the photograph. The video went on for minutes unfortunately not making any valid points on cyberbullying however, she remembered a post that I added as a rant in a group.  I help run a group on Facebook that encourages people to meet their health and fitness goals. The rant shed light on a user who insulted women who were skinnier and mentioned that skinnier women had no curves.

I brought it to everyone’s attention that I felt sorry for people like that who try to hurt the feelings of others because it only shows that they might be insecure of themselves and are initiating a cry for help. I don’t think if you’re secure and confident you’d spend time projecting how amazing fabulously “thick” and appealing you are. It also goes for people who comment about how “skinny” they are—still, my opinion. People can just tell when you’re awesome. Currently, I get feedback from the workouts that I do and how much my body has changed over the past months but it was my choice to live healthily. Remember the actress and comedienne Monique, who for years joked about skinny women? She has finally taken the steps to workout and has dropped an amazing amount of weight. I wonder what her standup acts are like now…

“Mo’Nique admits that while promoting being big, beautiful and healthy, she wasn’t always taking her advice on the healthy part.”

Personally, I don’t encourage body image insults. I think they are a waste of time and individuals have a tough time as it is in their own bodies. Even I do. I have my personal goals that I struggle to get to, but I’m determined. Just because you’re skinny doesn’t mean you’re healthy. I know larger and society-defined fat people who can outrun me. On this side, some people look at me and share their detest of muscular women, when I absolutely love muscles and my route to washboard abs.

Fitness is a journey. You can’t get the body that you want overnight. I’m shedding light on this topic simply because the post I did was misinterpreted and I don’t like anyone tainting my reputation. I own up to things that I say.

I’m a huge advocate for everyone to take control of their fitness. It doesn’t make me a bully that I’m pointing out that if I’m frustrated that many people in this country are morbidly obese and glorifying it. If that’s the wake up call that people need, that taunting to push themselves to get themselves into shape—so be it. However, it won’t come from me. Fitness is a lifestyle that only YOU can be held accountable for. Certainly I could spend the time preaching how being fit means you can wear regular store clothing, you can run up the stairs, you can fit in rides, you won’t get awkward stares etc. I don’t do that. I just do my own work out, I do post them on my timeline though, I figured subliminally they will get interested and if they want to work out with me, I’ll accept.

I remember being 5′ 10″ and 130lbs in high school and college. Even then, having the physique of what my peers thought was a runway body didn’t make me happy. I spent time trying to gain weight because people made comments of me being too skinny. Too skinny, to me, felt like I wasn’t desirable in my culture. Runway models sell clothing. That’s their job, that’s not mine. That’s not the realistic body for the average woman but some women have that. It doesn’t necessarily mean that they are better than other women. At that time I didn’t feel better. At that weight, I had a very fast metabolism and I did try working out to be stronger. When I realize I wasn’t gaining weight, I just accepted it but continued to be active. Accepting the body that you have shouldn’t mean giving up and not trying to work hard on it because exercising is uncomfortable. If you love your body, you will work on it no matter how long it takes. That means – no crash diets! It means setting realistic goals.

Remember the Dove ad with the women of every size in their underwear. Everyone loved it because we assumed it represented all women of all shapes and sizes. Wrong! Look closer. The women are all healthy-looking, average size women. I can’t say that those women are what I personally consider fat. However, they don’t represent all the women in America. Do you see stomachs hanging?ok. Let’s think of why: being morbidly obese isn’t healthy! Dove is advertising a product that’s supposed to be good for my body to enjoy the skin I’m in. Does this mean it’s not for the morbidly obese – of course not. It’s just that real beauty, in my opinion, comes holistically. It’s how you are inside and out, how you challenge your mind, how you challenge your body, how you take care of them both and extend to others. This means loving yourself enough to ensure that you take the steps for you not to be at risks for diseases!

I’ve never taunted anyone for being fat. In fact, I have lots of fat friends, I just figured that they want to be that way. .

Most of the overweight people that I’ve met don’t like the weight that they carry, they constantly say they will get to exercise soon. You can tell that they want to start. Sometimes it’s that epiphany that causes you to change your diets to something healthy. For me, it was because I couldn’t fit in my skinny jeans any longer, after never having a “fat” problem. Unfortunately for others it has been because the doctor said that they were going to die.

There’s no way that I believe you’re happy about how you look because you already make excuses such as saying your depression is what causes our weight gain. It’s ok to ask for help in those situations. Ask for it. Figure out what will get you past your unhappiness to focus on changing your life for the better.

I’m not a bully. I don’t pick on people for making the wrong health-related decisions. I’m not a bully, I don’t attack people based on their physique. I’m not a bully because I hope to be a fitness advocate/evangelist.

One thing about the video though, even if I can’t post the url here. She told people that they should go kick rocks and kill themselves, I think that’s cyberbullying. If you want to see the video, I can message directly but I want it to have absolutely nothing to do with my blog and I won’t encourage negative comments to her based on people who agree with me.